In Which the Little Brother Begins His Two-Year Hiatus

It happened. I gave the Little Brother a giant hug yesterday, told him goodbye, and that was it. I've sent my kid brother off to do and learn hard things. When I see him again he'll be a man.

Not man enough, I hope, that he won't giggle with me while we lay on my parents bed where Pa is sleeping (in our defense he wasn't sleeping when we first got there) and we torture each other with Pa's back scratcher. This may or may not have been how we spent the last night together. Who knew a back scratcher could do so much damage? Also, we were whooped. We had buckets of unfinished business to attend to. I love the Little Brother, but attending to necessary preparations is not his strong point. In our home, whooped = super loopy, meaning that our giggles in relation to the back scratcher were louder and lasted longer then they would have otherwise. Don't worry. Pa slept through it all just fine. He was whooped, too.

It is strange to think of the next two years without him. I know two years will pass crazy fast, but where I'm standing now it feels like forever. I can only imagine what it must feel like for him.

For the most part, the Little Brother is laid back and easy going (leading to his seeming inability to get things done, as mentioned above). He's been pretty chill about this two-year hiatus thing. There was only one time when I thought he might be overwhelmed by emotion. It was the evening before he left. A couple of amazing men had come to our home to talk with the Little Brother about what he was about to do. It wasn't long after they got there before the Little Brother's face became taut, his jaw set and his cheek muscles tight and his mouth in a hard, straight line. It's a face I've never seen on him before but I recognized it because that's my emotion face. The face I make when I have so much emotion in me that if I crack even the least bit it will come flooding out and there will be no stopping it or reeling it in until it's had a nice, long romp.

The Little Brother and I are most like each other than we are like any of our other siblings. I forget that sometimes. The Little Brother and I are different enough on the surface I forget how similar we are underneath.

I'm going to miss this little guy. Technically I shouldn't be calling him little since he's been significantly bigger than me for years. But to me, he'll always be the Little Brother.

Shakespeare in the Park: Othello

Yesterday, When We Busted Out the Mother's Day Pie

We also busted out the ice cream. Gma likes vanilla ice cream with her homemade peach pie.

Since the peach pie was a last minute dessert decision we weren't able to make sure we had the vanilla ice cream to go with it. I didn't think it would matter much since I knew we had recently had some vanilla ice cream in the freezer.

My dad dug out all our frozen deliciousness when we served the pie. This is what he found:

• Turtle Tracks
• Mint Chocolate Chip
• Toasted Almond Fudge
• Cookies and Cream
• Double Strawberry
• Cherry Vanilla
• Raspberry Sherbet
• Rainbow Sherbet
• Mango Sherbet

We apparently need to work on our ice cream stockpiling skills. How could we possibly have that many flavors but not have vanilla?

The Fabulous You

Warning: This is a booger of a post. It may induce extreme hunger, dehydration, or a feeling of being lost. Proceed with caution.

Last night I attended a stake RS activity. I did not want to go. At all. We were told on Sunday that we'd be learning about hair and makeup. I know it's not completely obvious by my perpetually bunned, braided, or pony-tailed hair and my notoriously makeupless face, but talking hair and makeup doesn't do it for me.

The evening began with some brief remarks by our stake president. He was followed by a series of guest speakers.

President Shippen
President Shippen spoke a lot about how precious each day is. He emphasized that just as your outer appearance reflects your inner self, the way we live our lives reflects that which we seek. His hope for us is that we will walk in virtue and live righteous lives so that we can fulfill our purpose.

He asked the sisters what their morning routine was. Nobody was brave enough to answer but that was alright cause he had a new one for us. He said the first thing we should do every morning is get on our knees and pray and have a conversation with the Lord. We should discuss with him our day, and ask that he give us his blessing as we live it. Next, Presdient Shippen said, he wants us to find a mirror, stare ourselves down, and say this:

A personal pep talk. But you can't just say it, he said. You have to mean it. This is not something that will come easy to me. The last three will be no problem. The first three, well, it's going to take me some time to be able to say that to myself and mean it. Perhaps if it was "You rock," or "You are fabulous." That would be easy peasy (most days) because I am fabulous. But I cannot tell myself I'm beautiful and mean it. Which is the point.

Sherrie Johnson
Sherrie Johnson is an institute teacher and religion instructor and holy moly is she awesome. Really, I want to be her when I grow up. She talked about how important it is to not just read your scriptures, but to study them. Reading your scriptures will bore your brains out. Studying them will keep things exciting. There are tons and tons of different ways to study the scriptures and it's important to find the one that works for you. If it doesn't work for you, it isn't going to work and there goes your scripture studying.

My Pa likes to color code his scriptures by topic. When I was a preteen, Pa bought me a set of scripture marking crayons in lots of colors and we spent an entire family night lesson talking about color coding and using our crayons. I think I may have even put a key to the colors in the front of my family scripture study BoM. I never once used those colors because it didn't work for me. And that's fine. His scriptures look like a rainbow inside and my scriptures look like this:

Both are valid ways of studying the scriptures and we've both found what works for us.

When Sister Johnson was 28, she realized that although she knew the scriptures well, she hadn't ever ready them on a daily basis. She made a commitment then to never go to bed without reading a verse of scripture, which, she said, works about as well as telling yourself you're only going to eat one potato chip. She said to tithe your time the same way you do you money. Time is a gift from the Lord and if you give back 10% (which to me seems like an awful lot of time, but I'm going to try to work my way up there), there will be plenty of time leftover for everything else.

It's a choice really. Is scripture study a priority or isn't it?

Kathy Hill
Pretty sure I want Kathy Hill to be my new best friend. I appreciated her upfront, frank approach to the subject and her insights into why looking your best is so important. She said it is important to be pulled  together so you can forget about yourself and think about others. Soap is cheap so shower every day. Unless you have dry hair, in which case every other is okay. According to Kathy, it doesn't take more than 30 minutes a day to get ready (her hair took her 10 minutes to go from wet-from-the-shower to fabulous and her makeup takes her 6).

In the words of Kathy Hill, "Let's just groom up!"

Larry Tucker
Larry Tucker spoke to use about nutrition. He said that while reading your scriptures is more important than proper nutrition, being close to the Lord becomes much more important if you don't eat well since you'll be meeting him sooner.

He gave us three principles:

1. Focus on foods with a low energy density (a small number of calories per gram). You can eat these suckers til you topple over from being perfectly satiated. No going hungry here.
2. Don't eat when you're not hungry. That means recreational eating. I am a champion recreational eater. I suppose it's time to pursue new hobbies.
3. Don't drink your calories. Sodas and other high calorie drinks will make you fat, fat, fat.

Following these three principles will allow you to eat til you're full always and either lose weight or maintain a healthy weight.

Super simple, really. Until you're faced with a jumbo, chocolate, gooey brownie smothered in mint chocolate chip ice cream and marshmallow ice cream topping. Yum.

Heather Anderson
Heather Anderson spoke to use about makeup. I already knew just about everything she told us, I just don't apply it.

Here's your basic face.

• Barriers: Toner (for oily skin, not for dry), moisturizer, and a foundation primer
• Foundation - During summer a tinted moisturizer works great in place of your foundation
• Eye primer (this stops shadow from running or creasing and keeps it true to color) - She uses Urban Decay which I've heard is fantastic. I use, excuse me, have an eye primer from NS Minerals which worked great that one time when I had makeup on my face.
• Eye shadow - Don't forget to blend your colors
• Eye liner
• Mascara primer (gives the mascara something to hold on to)
• Mascara

She wanted us all to remember that we are beautiful and should work with what we have. Also that it doesn't matter how beautiful we are on the outside, we'll never be beautiful if we aren't also beautiful on the inside.

She also wanted us to know that grocery store makeup is great (except a couple things which she didn't specify, so good luck with that) and that sleeping in your makeup will ruin your face and make your eyelashes fall out.

Rogan Taylor
By the time it was Rogan Taylor's turn I was getting antsy. I can only take makeup talk for so long. But then I saw he used a Prezi. I'm slightly obsessed with Prezis. I've never done one myself, but someday I will be a Prezi maestro. This is happening.

He talked with us about exercise. There are three main parts to exercise: stretching, cardio, and strengthening. It's important to work on each as they all play a major part in our physical fitness.

Robin Harmon
Robin Harmon gave us a handout with the top 10 (which actually included 14 items) essentials in a girl's wardrobe. I'm ashamed to say that I don't own a single one of those things. Except maybe the cute PJs. But only if it's okay for them to be old and fraying at the hems.

She gave us the 3Cs:

• Clean - This is pretty self-explanatory (remember Kathey? Soap is cheap!).
• Color - Fashion colors change every six months or so. To incorporate these colors without purchasing a new wardrobe get them in a lipstick, bag, belt, shoes, scarf, or jacket. Personally, I love getting new nail polish colors (I hardly ever wear anything but green so I don't know why I bother but I can't deny that I love having two palms full of fantastic nail polish colors).
• Creative - Don't worry about how other people are wearing things; wear things your way. Be bold and daring. I apparently have this one down pat. Once said to me by my mother: "You wear things other people wouldn't." [Long Pause] "But wish they could." Thanks, Ma.

I am so grateful to the many talented people that gave of their time and knowledge last night so I could learn a lot bit more about how to be a better me.

A Series of Poems About a Spider

Ode to the Spider Living Between My Window Pane and the Screen of My Window

You sit there basking in the sun.
Sometimes high,
Sometimes low.
You're always on the screen, not my window.
Does the screen feel better on your spider legs like Dr. Scholl's massaging insoles?
Or maybe you hope that if you sit there long enough
You'll melt through the screen like the
Ghost of a spider.
You've been stuck between for days.
You can't find your way out.
You must have crawled to the screen when my window was open.
You came from the inside, not the outside.
Don't you know outside will kill you as surely as living between the screen and my window pane?


Ode to the Spider that Used to be My Roommate

You and I were roommates before you crawled between.
We lived amicably together.
   I didn't know you were there.
   You didn't crawl down my throat in my sleep like spiders sometimes do,
   The sleep studies say.
We were good roommates.
Then you crawled between the window pane and the screen.
The warm, spring air must have called to your Spider senses
Just as they called to mine.
But you stayed too long.
   I shut the window.
   Now you are stuck and
   I know you are there.
Someday I will open the window.
If you are not already dead, I will kill you.
We used to be roommates—
Now I live in the world behind the glass
And you live between.


Ode to the Spider with the Overactive Spider Senses

You couldn't resist the call of Spring
the sweet Summer air
the cloud-studded sky
the smell of green, growing things.
Now you will die.


PS I feel that it would be irresponsible of me to not now research the traditional form of odes (is there a traditional form of ode?). If any of you lovelies have information on the Ode, please share.

Why Run?

I'm reading this book. It wasn't on my currently reading list, but it was sitting on my bookshelf and it's from the library, so I'm reading it.

Amby Burfoot, the author, is an editor of Runner's World Magazine. It's obvious from the way this book is put together that she is quite adept at the short, magazine article style of writing. It's not my favorite way to read a book, but it does make for quick reading and the information she provides is still valid.

There are ten parts to this book and I've just finished reading Part 1: Why Run? This section was longer than I wanted it to be, but chances are if you're struggling to find the motivation to run, something in this section will inspire you which I'm sure was her intention and explains the length of this section.

But you don't need to read this book, or any book, to find good reasons to run. The best motivation for anything comes from yourself. Figure out why you want to do something, whether it be running or something else, and keep those things in mind always. When it gets hard, remind yourself why you're doing it. If it's important enough to you, if you constantly remind yourself why it is a priority, you'll get it done.

I'm changing up the way I do running a little bit. Mostly the changes I am making are things I intended to do anyway, but reading the first section of this book has given me the oomph I need to get them done.

1) I've moved my activity log from my ipad to an empty journal I had lying around. (I have oodles of empty journals. I always feel proud of myself when I have a good use for one; it legitimizes my keeping them around.) I prefer a physical activity log to the virtual log. I'll be better about keeping it, happier to write in it after an exercise, and potentially motivated to run when I don't want to just so I can put it in my activity log. I entered Saturday's 5k as my first entry in my new log. That way, whenever I'm feeling discouraged, I can look at my first entry and remember what a success it was. Remembering that my first entry was a success will remind me that any entry in my activity log is an entry of success.

2) I've adopted a simple reward system. Kelly Belly and I are champion celebrators when it comes to doing something unique and specific (like taking a big test or teaching that RS lesson you've been dreading), but I'm not very good at rewarding myself for the constant, little things that are difficult to keep up. A reward is never enough to make me do something I don't want to do, but it does make me happier when I complete something I was going to do anyway. The book suggested purchasing a piggy bank and giving yourself a quarter each time you complete a training session. I've already got a piggy bank and I like the idea of giving myself money to treat myself with. (One of the books on my currently reading bookshelf is about personal finance. I'm trying to be more deliberate about my purchases as I work toward being more fiscally responsible overall. That means less spontaneous buying. Having a little piggy with some extra cash in it that I've sweat and toiled over might just be perfect.)

3) I'm writing out my reasons for running on 3x5 cards. I have a fetish for 3x5 cards and use them for all sorts of random things. I use a single 3x5 card for each reason. "I run because . . ." or "I run for . . . " followed by one of the reasons I run. I know why I run, but it would be nice to have my reasons delineated like that. Then, when I'm feeling like running is the worst idea ever, I don't have to work to come up with good reasons to run. They'll be right there in front of me written on 3x5 cards in cute, sharpie colors.

4) I'm going to hit up the fabric store and purchase a fat quarter that I just love. I'll turn it into a strip of fabric that I can tack up to my wall. I plan to pin up all my running bibs so I can see what I've done. A little silly maybe, but I never thought I'd ever run a race, let alone several. It's a reminder to myself that I can do things that I never thought I could or would. It's me reminding myself that I am awesome.

Spring Cleaning

According to Goodreads I am currently reading seven books. That doesn't count the book that's sitting on my shelf from OPL that I need to get read. I also probably have five or six books sitting around that I've started at one point and haven't gotten around to finishing. But they don't count. There's no official record that I've started reading them and I'm keeping it that way; seven unfinished books is more than enough for me to deal with.

It's time to do a little spring cleaning, time to get serious about reading my seven unfinished books. I feel I should give myself a date to have my currently-reading list cleared about by, but that really doesn't work for me. I know I could get them finished by a specific date, but setting a date will make it more likely that I won't accomplish getting them all read by that date than if I don't set one (don't worry—it doesn't make sense but I know myself well enough to know it's true).

I have updated my blog to include a widget from Goodreads that shows some of the books on my currently-reading list. The plan is to read all of those (plus the two or three I actually do need to get read in the sometimes near future) before beginning any other books.

Let the Goodreads spring cleaning begin!

Yup, that just happened.

Happily Ever Afters

Kelly Belly got married to her hunky Russian a few days ago. It was a happy day of wedding festivities, tired children, and delicious food.

I feel like it should be strange for my younger sister to be married. She and I have always been a pair. Now she's paired with someone else. It doesn't feel strange. It feels just right.

I had the dubious distinction of getting five children ranging from the ages of 1 to 6 to the temple in time for pictures. There was babysitting help waiting for me at the temple, but I had to get them there first. It took three car seats, two booster seats, and about twelve minutes to get them situated in the car. I am proud to say they all arrived at the temple happy with each other and happy with me. My oldest nephew Graham was the biggest helper. I don't know if I could have done it without him. I took all the little people out of the car one at a time, putting the two smallest girls (about 18 months old each) on either side of Graham, holding tight to his hands. The other two girls, one at a time, climbed out of the car and joined the line. After grabbing a purse full of books, coloring implements, diapers, wipes, and snacks, I snagged one end of the line and we made our slow way up to the temple entrance. Nearly everybody we passed just about died at the adorableness of five tiny people all in a row, discussing the benefits of holding hands and walking slowly to make sure nobody got lost or hurt.

As much as I loved seeing how happy my sister was, my favorite wedding moments were those spent with my nephews and nieces. Like when I danced with my nephew at the end of the reception when everybody else was dancing with their sweethearts. He developed a system for our dancing by which we could maintain evenness; a child after my own ordered heart. Or when my niece that is just learning to crawl and I chilled together on the floor in a corner while I ate some bread and salad for dinner. Or when my other little niece was going crazy because there were four balloons stuck on the reception hall ceiling. She wanted them. Bad.

I am a notorious shoe ditcher. I love my shoes, but mostly I love them not on my feet. I ditched my shoes near the beginning of the reception and didn't put them on again til the end. Mostly I didn't realize I spent most of my time there barefoot. I wonder how many others noticed.

I tried each of the five desserts. The chocolate pie was my least favorite, the key lime pie came next. The best was the mousse shot, with the cheesecake and the creme brulee as close seconds. My brother-in-law disagreed. He was glad he ate the chocolate pie.

I can't tell you the number of people that told me it was my turn to get married next. Oodles. People told me the same thing nearly five years ago when my oldest brother got married. Marriage isn't about turns. It's about somebody you want to spend the rest of forever with.

It's not their fault. They just love me and have hope for me.

I've spent the last nine months fielding questions about how I'm affected by my little sister's marriage. Apparently I'm supposed to be sad or bitter, upset in some way or another. It didn't make any sense to me. She's my sister. My younger sister. I've spent my life watching our for her. Her happiness is more precious to me than my own.

As I was driving home from the the reception, I pondered on why others find a younger sister getting married before an older sister upsetting. Why am I supposed to be upset? This is my theory. It's a matter of timelines. Like the game of life. You hit certain squares and you stop there until you either get yourself a spouse or a career or a house. It only takes a single turn. Once you've accomplished your purpose there, you move on. Meeting these timeline milestones in real life is a measure of your life success. Having a younger sibling (by nearly four years) hit those milestones before you shows that your timeline is off somehow. Something is not right and it is probably you.

I've spent my entire life doing things my way on my own timeline. I'm not much bothered by when others think things should happen in my life. Kelly Belly being married before I am means nothing except that when I take trips to foreign places I need to bring back a gift for her hubby, too, and that I'm going to have gads more nieces and nephews.

That being said, marriage is definitely on my timeline. I'll get to it when it's right for me. Until then, there is nothing I would rather do than celebrate my siblings' happily ever afters and am not bothered one bit by showing up as just me instead of as an us.