A Book Lady

The other day I went to Barnes and Noble. I haven't set foot in a bookstore in I don't know how long. Part of trying to be fiscally responsible. Books are definitely wants, not needs, and fall under extraneous purchasing. Particularly since I have an awesome library within biking distance. I was given an amex gift card and while I should have spent it on something nonextraneous, I went to the bookstore instead.

As I stood in line, I listened to the checkout lady ask if the patron she was helping had a B&N membership. She then explained the perks of the membership and asked if the patron would like to join. The same event occurred when the couple in line behind me stepped up to the counter. I heard it as I walked away. Neither wanted to join.

The checkout lady did not ask me if I was a member. "Do you have your membership card with you, or should we look you up?"

That is exactly how she greeted me. I played it cool, though I was kind of freaking out. "I'm not sure if I have my card on me so let's look it up."

My mind was going crazy. How did she know? I did a quick wardrobe check. Blue and white striped tee, jeans cut-off at the knee, purple toms, tan cardigan. Is this the wardrobe of a B&N member? Maybe it was the small, silver hoops in my ears? Did she see my princess key ring hanging out of my pocket that I used as a teenager but recently rediscovered and began using again? Was it that I wasn't wearing makeup? The neat ponytail that was neither high nor low that left my hair, long and straight, hanging down my back? Does she have x-ray vision powerful enough to know that I had two library books tucked into the dark blue satchel slung across my body.

HOW DID SHE KNOW!?

I apparently look like somebody that spends too much money on books. It's like when you see a stranger and know right away that she's a cat lady. Except, I'm a book lady. Not even a five-month fast from book buying can shake it.

Don't get too close! Some of my stray books might rub off on you.