And suddenly I was homesick. It's been about three years since I moved from Virginia to Utah, but in that moment when my computer told me it was 5:08 instead of 3:08, I missed living in Virginia as intensely as I did the first few days after moving.
And then I realized I wasn't homesick for Virginia. I'm missing the particular circumstances of my life at the time. When I was there, actually living it, I felt so lost and alone, so unsure of myself and my direction in life, and so completely powerless. Every day was hard because it felt like a day wasted in going nowhere and becoming nothing. Sitting here, now, looking at my clock set to the eastern time zone I find myself missing that time so much.
Really what all this means is that it doesn't matter where you are, it's always going to be hard. That doesn't take away from how amazing it is. There's something fantastic about where you are right now, and when it's gone you'll find yourself missing it.
Appreciate where you are and what you have, cause it's pretty great.
More important, don't let whatever is negatively affecting you become the ruling influence in your life.
You deserve better than that.
I love this! And you're so completely right--when I feel heartache about my past, it's really just because I'm thinking about how I felt at the time, and not where I was that I loved. I can bring that same inner contentment back, even though I'm physically in a different place.
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